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  • SPACEBALLS + the first 7 page rough draft

    I've never written a script before but I have been studying so here's my attempt. Take a look and give me your thoughts or any pointers..



    SPACEBALLS PLUS

    Written by: Jorge J. Abrerry

    Based on characters created by: Mel Brooks

    DRAFT August 2020 EDITION




    Once upon a parody..


    FADE IN:
    At the end of the last movie, the evil leaders of Planet Spaceball were thwarted off by the likes of Lonestar so that our heroes were thought to have married and lived happily ever after.
    However Lonestar turned out to not be a prince. Thus, Vespa instead decided to stay single since she couldn't marry him.
    Meanwhile, Yogurt has disappeared while rumor has it that a new mysterious noob side of the Schwartz has awakened and it's about to wreak havoc with it's new not so secret weapon, the Mega-Maid 2...
    If you can read this, you have high speed and don't need to wait for the buffering....



    FADE OUT:

    FADE IN:
    Buffering circle graphic



    FADE OUT:

    FADE IN:
    "SPACEBALLS PLUS"
    PARTS 2, 3, & -1
    A New Continue Begins...



    FADE OUT:

    EXT. SPACEBALL 2 - SPACE SPACEBALL 2

    SPACEBALL 2 suddenly appears hurtling past us while coming out of hyper speed. The ship skips again through hyper speed to avoid crashing into planet Junka and leaves an impressive skidmark trail made of fire reminiscent of BACK TO THE FUTURE. We see the end of the ship which has a bumper sticker that reads, "MAKE THE SCHWARTZ GREAT AGAIN!"

    CUT TO BLACK.



    EXT. JUNKA VILLAGE - NIGHT

    WIDE SHOT of a small, peaceful village. Distant sounds of owls whooping and cows mooing. Suddenly a BEACHBALL that sounds mechanical RISES INTO FRAME, CLOSE: ROUND, multicolored and white, has a digital face with :-) on it, this is BB-STORAGE-UNIT, called BLEEP for short. Buffers then focuses on something past camera. He BLEEPS -- A SHORT SENTENCE, BLEEPED CURSE WORD-LIKE SOUNDS. Moves EVEN CLOSER TO CAMERA -- is MORE annoyed -- BLEEPS more -- then TURNS AND ROLLS OFF FAST --

    INT. VILLAGE HUT - NIGHT

    In a primitive HUT, an old explorer, LOAD OF MECCA, (looks like Tom Hanks from CASTAWAY) hands a mysterious sack to SCHMOE DAMNIT (looks like Marty McFly, in Jean jacket, complimented with a down vest).

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    Damn you're old, didn't you fight in the Silicone Wars?

    LOAD OF MECCA

    Why yes but that's a story for another time. This will begin to explain the plot of this movie. There's a new menace to the Galaxy and they have a ship called SPACEBALL 2 that of course also transforms into MEGAMAID 2. This code will infect the motherbrain of the ship and corrupt it from it's transformation.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    (Reveals code on sticky note -- ^^vv<><>ABAB SELECT START) I see, like the plot of AIRPLANE 2 THE SEQUEL. Well, because of you now we have a chance to start a sequel of our own..and possibly start a franchise.

    LOAD OF MECCA

    Or end it quickly before it even starts. What's with the vest? The 80's didn't age very well but they were right, it does look a life preserver. You didn't jump ship did ya?

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    I am afraid of drowning but it's nothing like that. See nostalgia is the new money and we are out to make a sequel, premake, remake, light reboot, or whatever this movie is, right?! Only seemed fitting!

    LOAD OF MECCA

    So that's it, we're using nostalgia to bring back the Schwartz.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    I guess so..

    Both characters look directly at front camera.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    Who'd a thunk it?!
    Both schrug



    INT. SPACEBALL 2 - SPACE

    GENERAL HOGWASH is getting directing orders from a mysterious cloaked figure whom is chewing out GENERAL HOGWASH about getting plans to stop the destruction of MEGAMAID 2

    MYSTERIOUS VOICE

    We know they have the blueprints for the destruction of SPACEBALL 2

    GENERAL HOGWASH

    We won't allow that Sir, we will transform the ship into MEGAMAID 2 before that happens

    MYSTERIOUS VOICE

    They already know about MEGAMAID 2 and have the plans to stop her

    GENERAL HOGWASH

    How do they know about MEGAMAID 2 already? The movie just started Sir

    MYSTERIOUS VOICE

    That's already pretty much a given, it's not really a spoiler if you've already watched the first SPACEBALLS. It's plot already dictated that and now the stakes have to be much higher!

    MYSTERIOUS VOICE (CONT)

    GENERAL HOGWASH, We must not let anything stop us from sucking out the air from every planet

    GENERAL HOGWASH

    FINAL BOSS...Sir..The first DORK ORDER will not fail you

    FINAL BOSS

    Do not call me that HOGWASH, then people will know that KINDA MEH is not the main villain. We can't spoil that untill the end. Just call me CLOAK from now on

    GENERAL HOGWASH

    Yes, FINAL BOSS CLOAK, KINDA MEH and CAPTAIN FAUX PAS are heading down to PLANET JUNKA now, we will retrieve the plans and stop the destruction of Megamaid 2.

    CLOAK

    HOGWASH, you're an idiot. It's CLOAK and I will deal with you later. Patch me through to KIND OF MEH



    CUT TO:

    EXT SPACEBALL 2 - SPACE

    Small ships that look like dunce caps emerge from SPACEBALL 2, flying towards PLANET JUNKA.

    INT DUNCE CAP 1

    CLOAK

    LOAD OF MECCA and his INDEPENDENT SQUAD are trying to stop us from our destiny to take over the galaxy.

    KINDA MEH

    The plans are as good as ours and when we are through here I'm going to scour the universe in search of more nostalgia because the second MEGAMAID isn't enough to bring more SCHWARTZ towards the franchise.

    CLOAK

    Find him and get the plans. Don't get caught up in searching for Nostalgia.

    KINDA MEH

    As you wish my Lord.

    CLOAK

    This movie has a similar story to the first one but we have new characters so it's different and we don't need nostalgia to make more money. The mere mention of a sequel finally getting made will be enough to create the buzz we need

    KINDA MEH

    Yes FINAL BOSS, The first DORK ORDER can't stand to lose and neither do I

    CLOAK

    Not again, it's just CLOAK. There is no need to refer to me as FINAL BOSS until the end of the movie.

    KINDA MEH

    (To CAPTAIN FAUX PAS) I'm not really concerned about the McGuffin, I am going to find the whereabouts of YOGURT

    CAPTAIN FAUX PAS

    Didn't he go back in time or something because he ticked off Lonestar when he found he was not really a Prince?
    KINDA MEH

    Something like that but the audience doesn't know that yet. Anyways, the FINAL BOSS can have the plans and that precious air from every planet but I want the ring that LONESTAR dropped down onto the grate

    CAPTAIN FAUX PAS

    But didn't LONESTAR have the ring again at the end while piloting the EAGLE 5?

    KINDA MEH

    It doesn't matter, it's a blooper that they missed and that's not a continuity error that anyone is looking for.

    CAPTAIN FAUX PAS

    So the fact that YOGURT said it was a worthless prize from a box of Cracker Jacks means nothing to you?

    KINDA MEH

    With great nostalgia comes marketability

    CAPTAIN FAUX PAS

    We're not going to be running around chasing stupid objects for 2 hours in this movie are we?



    KINDA MEH pulls a picture out of his pocket. It's a picture of himself with BILL PULLMAN, but KINDA MEH is disappearing in the photo.

    Last edited by Andy; 08-06-2020, 06:27 PM.
    “Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.” ~Bertrand Russell

  • #2
    SPACEBALLS: the December draft



    "SPACEBALLS PLUS"




    WRITTEN by: Jorge J. Abrerry




    Based on characters created by: Mel Brooks




    ROUGH DRAFT December 2020 EDITION:

    FADE IN:

    At the end of the last movie, the evil leaders of Planet Spaceball were thwarted off by the likes of Lonestar, then our heroes were thought to have married and lived happily ever after.

    However, Lonestar & Vespa didn't marry because he turned out not to be a prince. Since then, Barf sacrificed himself to save Planet Mawg and now Lonestar has went into self isolation.

    But also, the apes locked away the Spaceballs in the fandom zone for over 30 yrs but a new menacing force has arrived and the search for the return of the Schwartz begins!

    If you can read this, you have high speed and don't need to wait for the buffering....

    FADE OUT:

    FADE IN:

    (Buffering circle graphic appears)

    FADE OUT:

    FADE IN:




    SPACEBALLS+

    PARTS 2, 3, & -1

    A New Continue Begins...

    FADE OUT:

    EXT. MEGAMAID'S BREASTS MODIFIED INTO A SPACESHIP. IT IS IDLING AROUND THE MOON OF VEGA.

    INT. SPACEBREASTS 1 -

    GENERAL HOGWASH (looks like the kid from spy kids all grown up) is taking orders from a holographic mysterious cloaked figure with a deep raspy voice.

    GENERAL HOGWASH

    Sir we are approaching the location of the asset now, shall we proceed?

    LORD BADGUY

    No you are to stay put. I'm sending Captain Faux Pas and Bent Helmet.

    HOGWASH waves his hand through the hologram, causing it to flicker.

    LORD BADGUY

    Stop that now!

    GENERAL HOGWASH

    Awe is the whittle hologwam upset? Him don't wike flickering does him?

    LORD BADGUY

    You don't have Schwartz-lightning propellant, do you? Want to find out how hard a whittle hologwam can zap you?

    GENERAL HOGWASH takes his hand out of the hologram

    GENERAL HOGWASH

    If you are so powerful then why do you have to send Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber to retrieve a simple ring

    LORD BADGUY

    Because we need that ring to find YOGURT!

    GENERAL HOGWASH

    So let me get this straight, LONESTAR dropped the ring down a grate in the last movie and even though he had a ring on towards the end.. you think there's some way you'll find YOGURT if you find this ring?

    LORD BADGUY

    Exactly!

    GENERAL HOGWASH

    Why don't you just go get LONESTAR and the actual ring?

    LORD BADGUY

    Can't. We tried that. Still couldn't find YOGURT. LONESTAR doesn't want to be found anymore either!


    GENERAL HOGWASH

    Why do we need YOGURT?

    LORD BADGUY

    This is the way.

    or anyway to piece the MEGAMAID back together.




    GENERAL HOGWASH

    Wasn't LONESTAR's Schwartz ring just a blooper or editing mistake?




    LORD BADGUY

    It was a blooper but it became a plothole and aren't all sequels meant to correct plotholes while creating new ones for spinoffs and whatnot?!

    GENERAL HOGWASH

    Can we at least call her SUPER-MEGAMAID instead of MEGAMAID 2?

    LORD BADGUY

    Anything to make the plot bigger, badder, and more spoofier

    PANS TOWARDS THE MOON OF VEGA, slowly closing in on a village

    INT. VILLAGE HUT - NIGHT

    CLOSE ON A HAND: a small pouch is placed in the palm. The hand closes. Another hand covers it. Inside the hut an old explorer, LOAD OF MECCA, (who looks like Tom Hanks from CASTAWAY) has handed the mysterious sack to SCHMOE DAMNIT (he looks like MARTY MCFLY crossed with a Hobbit). SCHMOE is a smart ass, he even looks like one:


    LOAD OF MECCA

    This will begin to move the plot along

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    So this is it huh? They're really going to go with the ring as a plot device!

    LOAD OF MECCA

    Nostalgia. It's the new money.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    Are they calling this one SPACEBALLS 2: the search for more money or is it the search for more nostalgia

    LOAD OF MECCA

    No no they almost called it SPACEBALLS 3: the search for SPACEBALLS 2: the search for more money.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    I'm surprised they didn't call it SPACEBALLS: the Schwartz Awakens and Rises at Last

    LOAD OF MECCA

    No but the critics would've love that.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    Ooo I got it, Spaceballs: Raiders of the Lost Sequel or better yet Back to the SPACEBALLS: Attack of the Prequel.

    LOAD OF MECCA

    No son, they had it in the opening crawl.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    I onow. I know. SPACEBALLS Rebooted: Enter the Spaceballs.

    LOAD OF MECCA

    Shouldn't they be here by now.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    SPACEBALLS: The Wrath of Continuity.

    LOAD OF MECCA

    They can fly clear across the entire universe in a matter of hours in Star wars and Star Trek and yet we have time for a whole conversation before they can enter our atmospheree. They should have been here long by now.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    SPACEBALLS: Revenge of the Lost Sequel?

    LOAD OF MECCA

    No! Damn it, it's just called Spaceballs Plus which was clearly in the opening crawl.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    SPACEBALLS: Days of Future Retcon.

    LOAD OF MECCA.

    Nope, what's a Retcon?

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    SPACEBALLS 2: Schwartz Boogaloo

    LOAD OF MECCA

    No, but maybe that can be the next one!

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    SPACEBALLS 2: Swartz harder!

    LOAD OF MECCA

    We're already Schwartzing, how can we Schwartz any harder?

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    SPACEBALLS Eleventeen Times Infinity: The Hope for a Franchise!

    LOAD OF MECCA

    Good grief son. It's just called SPACEBALLS plus. Take this ring and let them take you up on their ship. Then you're going to upload a virus into their ship and stop them from ever finding LONESTAR or the rest of MEGAMAID

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    So like the plot of Independence day.

    LOAD OF MECCA

    Only you're going to send them into the sun.

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    So like airplane two!?

    LOAD OF MECCA

    You ask alot of questions son. What is it with you?

    SCHMOE DAMNIT

    Dude you're pretty old, didn't you fight in the silicone wars.

    LOAD OF MECCA

    (Cups his hand over his own face) Yes, but that's another lose thread to come back to at another time. Why aren't the new order of SPACEBALLS here yet?
    “Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.” ~Bertrand Russell

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